What to do if you are sad all the time. Why is a person sad?

It happens that, despite a series of successes, sadness attacks the heart. And then the person tries to understand what the reason is, tries to somehow cheer himself up. However, you should not rush to do this, because sadness is a wonderful emotion and, oddly enough, very useful.

Why is a person sad?

There is such a psychological concept as “mood norms.” In accordance with them, the mood should be consistently good. And if you look at it from this perspective, sadness is a violation. After all, when it’s in your heart sadness, everything around seems gray and useless. For example, a wedding seen by chance seems like an empty hope for happiness. It would seem that nothing good could happen in such a state. But there is always a “but”. Without this state, a person would not know joy. Therefore, happiness and sadness cannot exist without each other. It's like a contrast between bad and good weather. And to understand why a person is sad, you need to take a closer look at the other aspects of this interesting state.

Sadness saves strength

Sometimes it happens that suddenly, for no reason, sadness comes. This happens especially often after a violent manifestation of positive emotions. For example, after guests have left, a person is sometimes consumed by melancholy. However, if everything is more or less clear with this case, then how can we explain why a person becomes sad after winning an important competition or when moving up the career ladder after many years of tedious work? After all, it would be logical to assume that this person’s mood at such moments should be at the peak of joy. The answer lies in another psychological concept called achievement syndrome, that is, after an emotional upsurge, a moment of mental decline comes. So, the main reason for this phenomenon lies in physiology. Joy is a sthenic emotion, that is, it is a kind of activator for a person, forcing him to spend a lot of strength and energy. Sadness, in turn, is an asthenic emotion. It reduces all human activity and creates everything the necessary conditions in order for the body to restore the expended strength. But the sadness will pass. The main thing is to handle it carefully and not to scare it away with various mood-enhancing means, be it chocolate, a party or fitness. Otherwise, you can forget about rest. Therefore, when you are sad, it is better to do quiet things, for example, read, walk alone on the street, or just look out the window.

Sadness will help you understand yourself

It so happens that when a person good mood he hardly thinks about himself. But when there is pain and sadness inside, a person’s tendency to self-knowledge awakens. In other words, a person wants to understand himself properly. And at these moments completely different thoughts come to mind. For example, how would life turn out if a person chose a different profession or a different partner. It turns out that such thoughts arise in everyone, even those who are completely satisfied with their lives. Sadness here acts as a kind of training for personal growth. It gives a person the opportunity to get to know himself better and to establish the most harmonious relationships not only with others, but also with yourself. It is in this emotional state that a person is able to accept the maximum correct solution any problem, because he is fully aware of what he really wants. However, you shouldn’t rush and radically change your life after an accidental sad evening. It would be better to wait a little and understand your thoughts better. Only after this has happened at least four times can you make a bold decision and change everything that was planned.

Sadness is a source of positivity

At first glance, this is a rather strange saying, but the reason a person is sad is that the body needs to get rid of negative emotions. From time to time a person remembers past disappointments and grievances, and they remain with him until he truly reacts to them. A little sadness won't help here. You need to surrender to your emotions completely and extract the most unpleasant memories from your memory, feel them with your whole consciousness. Sadness and tears are what you need to get rid of negativity. Many psychotherapists use this method in their practice. They simply make a person plunge into his sadness and cry. However, this can be done without the help of specialists. It’s enough just to retire and for greater effect turn on some music that evokes sadness and makes you remember the most unpleasant moments of life.

Sadness and good character traits

According to research by social psychologists, people who are sad are more compassionate and therefore inclined to help others. This happens because a person usually transfers his feelings to others. So when it's crowded positive emotions, it seems that everyone around is also happy. In moments of sadness, a person sees only sad faces around him and thinks not only about his own problems, but also about the problems of other people.

Women's sadness

Women's sadness is the most mysterious phenomenon in psychology. Sometimes a woman is sad only because she really wants to be. And it often happens that there is no serious reason for this. Sadness set in - and that’s it. And the main thing is that it’s about trifles: the girlfriend’s shoes are more beautiful or the partner was not pleased with something.

But it is not always the case. Often women's sadness has more serious reasons. For example, if a woman has a job with high degree responsibility, and from time to time people around her tell her how strong she is or that she has a masculine mentality. After some time, the woman becomes uncomfortable with this kind of praise; she develops a fear of turning into an “iron” lady, that is, into a calculating creature with a complete lack of emotions and soul. And in order to prove to herself that she is still a completely normal woman with her own advantages and disadvantages, she tries to find a reason for sadness. But this sadness should not be without “shedding of tears.” And here everyone uses the means that suit only her. According to sociological research, four factors most effectively make a woman sad.

The first of these is music. Many women have in their collection a whole selection, and sometimes more than one, of sad melodies and all sorts of songs about unhappy or unrequited love. Playback is often accompanied by lighting aromatic candles that emit an unobtrusive scent, sitting in an easy chair with a pillow and a glass of wine. But in this case, only a slight romantic sadness will descend on the heart.

The second assistant for inducing sadness among women is cinema. Choosing the right tape depends on personal preference, the woman’s age, and the situation. Most representatives of the fair sex have their own special film library, which includes films of various genres, suitable for a specific life situation and to create all the emotions necessary in this situation, like music selection from the previous example.

The third means of introducing yourself into a state of sadness is a book. Most often, these are some kind of romantic stories, rereading which, a woman is immersed in her own memories of past failed relationships. As a rule, such memories cause a storm of emotions in a woman, but, oddly enough, the woman is sad not about the departed love, but about the fact that as a result of the breakup of such a relationship, she gained life experience, while simultaneously losing the spontaneity of feelings and a certain naivety.

Finally, the fourth factor that makes a woman sad. This is the view from the window. Especially the view of the city at night. Looking at the lights, listening to the noise of cars passing by, she plunges into sad memories or begins to delve deeply into herself.

After such emotional experiences, a woman feels a new surge of strength and is able to plunge headlong into work again, communicate with a huge number of people and make many serious decisions, while knowing that she remains a real woman with all her advantages and disadvantages, despite the rigidity visible to outsiders .

Negative aspects of sadness

But there are also disadvantages to all this. After all, emotions are immeasurable, which means no one can determine exactly how much sadness you need to have in order for it to be beneficial. However, there are a number of specific signs that help identify the problematic aspects of a sad state. One such sign is an increase in the frequency of sad life episodes or an increase in their duration. Often a person is sad because he has low self-esteem or feels guilty. This condition becomes unbearable, the person wants to get rid of it faster. Therefore, the body is not properly freed from negativity and its condition worsens even more, which can lead to depression. In such cases, you simply need to contact specialists.

Sadness, video

Song Sadness

I’ll quote lines from what I told about the comfort zone, everything is accessible and understandable:

You constantly have to deal with people who constantly suffer, worry, engage in self-flagellation, and react to all the events that happen very painfully. Moreover, the overwhelming majority of them fall under the modified formula of my classmate: subjectively – suffering; objectively, there is no reason for suffering.

Why does a person constantly suffer? The answer is quite simple - he wants to suffer. Naturally, I’m talking about suffering out of the blue. He who seeks will always find, especially since in such people the skill of suffering has been developed to the point of automatism since childhood. It is important to answer the question, why does such a person want to suffer?

Here it is worth returning to the topic of the comfort zone. The term is quite common, although many are confused by the word comfort. Indeed, in the ordinary understanding, the word comfort means convenience, something pleasant. Although in fact, “comfort zone” means something slightly different - it is a situation that is familiar to you, in which you know what to do. Which does not mean at all that it should be good and really comfortable in the comfort zone. It should be familiar, and for many, familiar does not mean pleasant at all, rather the opposite.

In films about war, such an episode is often shown in one form or another. People get so used to fighting, when there are explosions, shootings, etc., that it is not so much the battle itself that causes anxiety, but the calm. Silence is unusual and promises unknown consequences. For them, combat is more familiar and more comfortable than calm.

If a person was brought up under difficult conditions, faced pressure from parents and others, felt useless, unloved, felt injustice, experienced all the negative moments inside, then for him suffering experiences become the norm. That is, he is used to it when he worries. He feels “good” when he feels “bad,” and this is not because he actually feels good, but because it’s so familiar to him. He is used to it, he knows what to do with it, how to behave in it. This is his comfort zone.

Any person strives for what is familiar and understandable to him, his “comfort zone.” If the comfort zone is suffering, then he will definitely find a way to suffer. Moreover, from the experience of our work, I can say that a person is looking for ways to find himself in his comfort zone.

At the same time, he avoids in every possible way situations in which he could feel truly good, comfortable and pleasant. Why?

Because “real good” is outside the comfort zone.

When a person really feels good, he doesn’t know what to do with it, he’s just not used to it. This leads to anxiety that gradually intensifies. A truly comfortable state is so unusual, it is so unclear what to do with it, so a person begins to feel anxious and worry that this is all for a reason, and may end in some unpredictable disaster.

How can you avoid something unknown bad? Very simple formula In order for something unknown bad to not happen, something habitually bad needs to happen, that is, something that you have become accustomed to since childhood, you know how to behave in this case, what to feel, and in general this is a well-developed and oiled mechanism.

1. You can remember childhood grievances. Why does a person not want to let go of the past? Because there is always the opportunity to remember the past and “sink” into the usual suffering. He will ask how I can let go of the past, but in reality he doesn’t want to let it go, because for him it’s important factor allowing you to be in your comfort zone.

2. You can organize your life to experience suffering. For example, a child was constantly forced to do something that he did not want at all. Boring, uninteresting and monotonous work. He was worried, felt unhappy, and this became such an integral condition that, as an adult, he chose an uninteresting, routine, low-paying job. The work does not bring either moral or material satisfaction, but it allows you to maintain your usual emotional state. Moreover, he may periodically try to look for a way out of this situation, but finds nothing and returns to his comfort zone. Although objectively there are many opportunities to change the situation.

3. You can find a partner who will take on the functions of a “suffering generator”, which will allow long time be in your comfort zone. At the same time, partners who are not ready to try on the role of a sadist are somehow not very interesting. It's not clear what to do with them.

4. In the end, you can simply engage in self-flagellation. Get caught up in some insignificant crap, then go into memories - voila - a comfort zone. Experiences, suffering.

People find a lot of ways to get hurt. You need to understand this mechanism. And learn to control it, for which a tool such as a diary with retrospective analysis is perfect. And “sufferers” need to understand that everything they strive for in their minds is close relationships, interesting job, pleasant communication, inner peace, all this is outside the comfort zone. And the subconscious pulls into habitual suffering, so it is important, understanding this, to stop enjoying suffering, and learn to accept and enjoy interest, joy, intimacy.

Objectively, most people have no reason to suffer.

There is no need to look for them subjectively.

Each of us contains many different emotions, fortunately, both positive and negative. I think you have also thought about what our life would be like if there was only joy in it and we did not know why it is so sad? But without evil we would not know good. Without sadness there would be no happiness. Why? Because there would be nothing to compare with. On the other hand, it is also impossible to constantly feel joy. It's quite boring. And yet, why does it become sad?

What is sadness

It is impossible to describe this emotion in one word, because sadness has many masks. It is close in meaning to sadness, melancholy, despondency, grief, melancholy, but in a less deep and more short-term experience.

Sadness is the depressed state of a person who is disappointed in something. Also, sadness is a certain state of mind when you can give up your most favorite activities and when you are tired of everything. Sometimes even the smallest trifle can plunge a person into a state of sadness. Maybe this is just one phrase that accidentally escaped from the interlocutor, or some ridiculous act that evoked certain memories in the person. He will replay them in his head over and over again, unconsciously forcing himself to plunge into a state of sadness even more intensely. Sadness is hard to hide from others. A depressed appearance, absent-mindedness and a blank look will give you away.

Why do we feel sad?

Why is a person sad? Very often, sadness is associated with unjustified ambitions or unfulfilled dreams. It seems like everything is going as it should, and you are ready to jump out of your seat and scream with joy, but then something changes dramatically, unexpected circumstances appear that are very different from your expectations. Other options for the development of events spontaneously pop up in your head, the ones you’ve been waiting for. And you feel the sadness that can be read in your eyes.

Why are the eyes sad? Often we meet the gaze of strangers on the street, in a cafe or in a supermarket. And we may notice that some people around us are worried about something. There's no need to be good psychologist to determine a person's emotional state. It is true what they say: “The eyes are the mirror of the soul.”

Why does it become sad? From lack of attention and love, from unfulfilled desires and loneliness? For no reason, it can be sad from boredom or simply when everything is boring. Or you can't call because you don't want to intrude? When you leave a place where it was good? Maybe you just put your loved one in a taxi, and you’re already missing something? It seems to me that this list can be continued for many more pages. But does sadness always have a negative connotation? I can answer no.

Pleasant sadness

In some cases it can be pleasant. Why so sad? Flipping through a photo album, you remember the unforgettable bright moments of your life. It could be a longing for an old relationship, a warm sea or a sunny summer, which undoubtedly brings a smile to your face every time.

No matter why you feel sad or lonely, you can cheer yourself up. This article will help you see the world in color: "

A person’s emotional background is not always stable. Tearfulness occurs for many reasons. More often women and children succumb to tears. Less common are men and people with a strong character. If you have a question about what to do when you are very sad and want to cry, then it’s time to understand your inner world, find out the cause of emotional outbursts and understand how to help yourself “ capricious weather».

Tears are not always appropriate. Sometimes it is difficult to contain them and, being in the wrong place, at the wrong time or in the wrong environment, you can become a victim of ridicule. Let's look at a number of reasons why a person suffers from tearfulness, and find out what to do if you constantly want to cry.

Causes:

• grief, problems, failures;
• joy, happy event, success;
• hormonal changes;
• anxiety, fear of something;
• grievances; unpleasant feelings settled in the subconscious;
• inability to speak up;
• depression.

Now let's look at each point in detail.

Black line

In moments of constant failure, the emotional background weakens. A person experiences pain and loses hope for the best. If you experience failures at work, problems arise in your family life or in communicating with others, do not be surprised if you cannot hold back your tears. The body is cleansed of accumulated negativity and thus protected.

Grief is nothing more than the death of loved ones and relatives. All other problems are really just problems and differ from each other in the degree of complexity, but they are solvable. If your tears arose based on point No. 1, do not hold them back when you want to cry, but cleanse your aura of dirt.

Tears of happiness

They should not be embarrassed or restrained. Joy evokes intense and vivid emotions, and each person reacts differently to happy events.

Oh, those hormones!

Changes in the hormonal background more often occur in women when taking or stopping hormonal medications, during adolescence, during pregnancy, and after it. Abortions, miscarriages and missed pregnancies also affect the functionality of hormones.

Girls at these moments have little control over themselves; they are either sad or happy. Their memory is impaired; they cannot remember how they spent part of the day. The mood changes with the snap of a finger. If a woman was smiling a minute ago, this does not mean that in a couple of minutes she will not cry.

Light sedatives, healthy sleep and water treatments will help calm hormones. In order not to lash out at your loved ones, try to engage in conversation with them less often.

Anxious state

Anxiety sometimes arises unreasonably. For impressionable people, this is generally a disaster. When people are afraid, their brain works several times faster and, without a clear picture, complements images and thoughts with false ideas.

Let's give an example. Young family. My husband is late for work, 15 minutes. During this time, the girl’s mood changes several times and many thoughts occur.

For example:

• he was delayed because he had someone else;
• he's definitely cheating on me;
• visited relatives;
• decided to have a drink with friends.

These are the standard thoughts of girls who, when their husbands come home, are ready to talk about divorce. Having shouted in the heat of the moment, the girl rethinks everything and begins to cry. Now she is guilty and afraid that her beloved will leave her.

There are many situations of anxiety. This is both the fear of the dark and the fear of one’s actions. Fear is a natural emotion and only those who succumb can overcome it. Find out what you are afraid of. Be honest with yourself. Now do the following.

Go to the mirror, preferably alone, and set yourself a mindset regarding your problem. For example, you are afraid of the dark, explain to yourself that there is nothing in the dark that is not there in the light. That you are a strong person, you have good energy protection, and no one will dare touch you. Tell yourself how strong and fearless you are until you feel that strength. Then you will start to feel better.

They carry water to the offended

Everyone has heard this saying. It is easy to offend a person, especially if he has a weak emotional background and frayed nerves. It's okay to cry because you're upset, but do it alone.

Some ill-wishers deliberately want to disable you. Your tears bring them joy and pleasure. They are proud of themselves in these moments, that they managed to hurt you. In order not to feel humiliated, smile, take a deep breath and exhale, normalize your breathing. Imagine something happy. Learn to laugh at other people's jokes. This is the only thing you need to do if you feel hurt and want to cry.

Inability to speak up

In some situations, when a person is dissatisfied with something, a slow dive into the pressing problem begins. Thoughts pop up both day and night. Lack of sleep occurs nervous system and the immune system weakens, and salty droplets roll into our eyes. For example, you had a fight with a loved one, or you were offended.

If at that moment you kept your emotions within yourself, they will gradually emerge. Speak out, present everything that worries you. Tell us what you are unhappy about. If the situation requires an apology, apologize. This is the only way you will regain your peace.

Depression

Depression is a complex emotional condition that requires immediate help.

This illness occurs due to accumulated negative feelings, grievances, and failures. When everything was kept inside long time and there is no more room for this pain.

There are days when there is only one single desire - to hide in bed and never get out of there. When it seems as if the whole world has fallen on your shoulders, depriving you of strength and testing your strength, everything goes wrong, and the feeling of helplessness does not allow you to move on. Life sometimes throws things at us that are much more difficult than we can imagine. It's not easy to withstand all this.

And even if your soul is sad and empty, it is very difficult to find the answer to the hackneyed question: “why?” This feeling cannot be described, but it is well known.

You may finally give up. You may feel unbearably empty and tired. But you have to hold on. You need to find a tiny thread that you just have to grab onto and it will become your lifeboat.

Grab onto it as tightly as you can and don't let go. Even if all you do is lie on the bed and breathe calmly. And you know what? Well, let! Keep breathing and everything will be fine.

Maybe you feel too broken to get back on your feet, that the pain in your heart is too strong, that your head is a complete mess. Your body is much stronger than you think. It knows how to treat this pain. You will never be completely broken. Every day you can start over, and every new day you have a chance to get back to your old self.

It may take time, but it certainly doesn't mean you're in pieces. You're just a little lost. Nothing can be stable in this world - including the black streak. Bad feelings will definitely pass, you just need to wait it out, and very soon you will feel better. And when this happens, you will realize how much stronger you are becoming every minute.

Sadness is not a sign of weakness.

Take a deep breath and you will see that our life is just life. It’s normal to make mistakes, and it’s also completely normal when things don’t work out. And even if you feel bad and in pain now, perhaps this is the beginning of something completely new.

You shouldn't ignore this pain. Pay attention to her and you will understand that she is just a guest and does not intend to stay long. Instead of artificially dulling the pain, accept it. Fears can have enormous power over us. Don't be fooled by this.

Remember that your mind is playing with you and you need to be careful with your own thoughts. If you can get a taste for life and awaken within yourself the desire to strive for the best, you will be the main witness of how everything begins to take on bright colors. Find something small that you like and take small steps from there. If you slowly start moving forward, things will start to fall into place.

Seek help if you need it. People close to you want you to be happy because they love you. Open up to your friends when you're feeling down. Take a deep breath. You are here, you are alive! You have great amount good thoughts

Even if you are hurt, you remain yourself. And when you are ready to look for the beautiful in life, it will always be waiting for you.

Don't forget that even if everything around you is falling apart, you can still save yourself. You have the power to create a bridge over these troubled waters. You can dig a tunnel through the darkness to see the light again. You need to move forward. Over time, everything will be much better, the light on your path will be brighter and brighter.

You have something that no one else on this huge planet has. Your personality, your inner light, your soul and love. You are undoubtedly growing, undoubtedly shining. You are the whole Universe. And all this is so well combined in one single person.

Take a deep breath. Everything will be fine!