VK status after. Statuses in contact about love, cool statuses for VK

The Man said and the Man did - these are two different men!

- Dad, dad, I will never go sledding with you again! - Stop whining, let's take it!

Are you walking, my love? Go for a walk... No one is holding you by the horns...

Sometimes you so painfully want to put some kind of obscene status, but then suddenly you remember that my friends are a lot of decent people, and they, too, bitch, consider me decent...

I messed up myself, it’s my own fault, I’m killing myself, damn, how independent I am...

Childhood is that happy time when you run out of the toilet at night and are glad that you weren’t eaten..

Who rips bears' paws? Shoving bunnies in the rain? Tanya threw the ball into the river? Did you break the bull's plank? Everyone knows who it is - it's Agnia Barto!

Homes used to have a crackling fireplace, but now there's a keyboard...

Valenki are overgrown, hardened and graying men's socks.

You've done the job - cover it with branches!

Statuses in contact about love

Give me the letter "I". She is cool. It can connect everything you want: heaven and earth, day and night, you and me...

A woman is weakest when she loves someone, and strongest when she is loved by someone.

I don't need a handsome man. I'm not interested in your complex face. Details are important to me: your eyelashes, lips, the way you look...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean they don't love you with all their soul.

Uv. friends and all those who wished me happiness, love and good luck in the new year. I hasten to inform you that nothing happened!

Wanting to go to bed with someone is not the most important thing; maybe it’s more important to wake up together in the morning and make tea for each other.

Love is like a fragrant flower on the edge of an abyss, but it takes courage to pick it.

“Love is torment!” said the monkey, hugging the hedgehog.

Love comes and goes, but you always want to eat!

Sad statuses in contact

She runs away from the past, but always thinks about it. She doesn't believe in miracles, but continues to make wishes for the holidays. I see her in the mirror every day.

Sometimes it’s easier to say “everything is fine” than to explain why you so want to smash your head on the radiator...

Sometimes I don’t understand myself... If I write something sad, it doesn’t mean sadness. And the smiling emoticon at the end is not a sign that she has stopped shedding tears...

How I wish I could turn back time... a year ago... not make past mistakes... change a lot... not be so gullible... and appreciate a lot.

I’m sad about our relationship... Just recently we walked everywhere holding hands and were so happy together, but now we blame each other for our shortcomings...

You need to cross people out of your life with a black marker... and not with a simple pencil, hoping that at any moment you can find an eraser.

The positive limit has been exhausted, try smiling later.

As long as a person does not give up, he is stronger than his destiny...

I went through fire, water and copper pipes, all I have to do is pass you by and not cry...

I can change my VKontakte status... This is one of the few things that changes so easily...

Statuses in contact for girls

You are offended by him, you get angry, but he twists everything so that in the end you yourself begin to ask him for forgiveness. Not fair!

I am crazy! And damn, I'm proud of it!

What is happiness? It's you... your smile, warm breath, gentle whisper of tender words in your ear, kisses, your hand in mine... love...

You make a God out of him, and he leaves... Another makes a beast out of him, and he licks her hands...

She is a psychopath and hysterical, she often screws herself up, she loves to laugh and have fun, but she cries very often... And her heart loves him very much...

Handbag: proof that money isn't everything.

I stopped dreaming about you. Well done, I realized that I don’t need it anymore.

May you slip on my tears, you bastard...

A girl who knows how to cook can find a man who knows how to eat.

A man's home is his fortress, but only from the outside. Inside, this is most often a children's room.

Contact statuses for guys

Jealousy is the suspicion that not only you are cheating, but also you...

Woman, remember! In order for a man not to have a mistress, he must go out with a full stomach and empty balls!

If there’s something about me that doesn’t suit you, then you can take the drum and lead the column of those going to hell!

You yourself are assholes, I'm a balloon

I don't change - I compare!

Forget you? What do you! I should remember first...!

There's sawdust in her head, nope!!! But there is paper in the bra... yes...

I hate it when girls write “I’m hard to find and easy to lose”! What are you, socks?

Arguing with a girl is like cutting a pig. No fur, but a lot of squealing!

Do you love freedom? Free!

Do you have your own community on VKontakte? Then you know firsthand how to select content and make sure that your subscribers like it. Moreover, if your community still does not have a status, quickly choose the one you need for your VK group.

Statuses with pepper

1. Daddy's boys can do anything, but just don't use bad language in communities.

2. “Hello. What are you doing?" from the creators of “Hello. How are you?"

3. Life is a very individual thing. Think about it, you can only change your status on your page.

4. Modest income is good because you inevitably learn to be content with little.

5. Censorship does not necessarily mean obscene words.

6. Conflict with reality is scary, but not fatal; conflict with virtuality is more difficult.

7. Those who get up early are online at 5 am.

8. The problem is when you can no longer find a suitable emoticon for the text of the message.

9. Don’t hesitate - even a nesting doll cannot have several lives.

10. If you think that you are not a drug addict, think about what you are on.

Unusual phrases

The ability to surprise is the main skill of a group leader. In addition, you can use the tips to set the VKontakte group status.

1. Status: I put a status simply because the empty line annoys me.

3. They say that you dream of dirt to bring good luck in life. They also say that dirt in the comments will lead to a ban.

4. To enter a group, you don’t need brains, but in order not to leave it, you do.

5. Best status- the one that makes it funny to your friends and you can show it to your grandmother.

6. By the phrase “head in the anus” I did not mean your intelligence at all. I was simply reminding you of your striking resemblance to an octopus.

7. This public page is as beautiful as an iPhone. In addition, it is completely free.

8. This group is not for the superstitious: they will either scow or jinx it.

10. Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends, don’t have a hundred cows, but have all your enemies.

Cute statuses

As you know, kindness never goes out of style. Let's fill the statuses in the VKontakte group with it!

1. Don't worry about tomorrow: will come tomorrow, then you will look for a way out.

2. Every princess should have a prince. Either there are no princes, or princesses...

3. In any incomprehensible situation, pretend that you are a cat, and there is no need for you to put such difficulties on yourself.

4. We are looking for adventure, but we hope that nothing bad will happen.

5. No one forces you to love forever. Just remain human in any situation!

6. Or maybe tears were invented to wash away the dust from the heart?

7. British scientists have proven that being in a bad mood does not solve the problem, but a bottle of champagne really does.

8. There is no need to eliminate those who can make you cry with happiness.

9. According to statistics, everyone who has a suffering status wants to change it to a romantic one.

10. Sometimes there is much more happiness in a casual glance than in the most ardent embrace.

Heartbreaking statuses

What we cannot say to our faces, we need to be able to beautifully present it in a status for a group on VKontakte. There is no need to invent something new here. What is contained in these phrases is as eternal as the world.

1. You need to be able to make peace on time.

2. It's sad, but most vows have little to do with reality.

3. The most significant things that happen to people happen spontaneously.

4. You shouldn’t be happy even if you are still with someone who hasn’t reciprocated for a long time. First of all, you should make sure that you will not remain unloved forever.

5. If your ex says that he is glad that you are happy with someone else, then he is either lying or has not loved you for a long time.

6. You don't need a brain if you want passion, but it will come in handy if you want a normal relationship.

7. You should not uselessly console someone you have wounded to the very heart.

8. Sometimes staying friends is like coming to your parents’ house where you grew up: you really want to, but not for long.

9. If a person thinks about you all the time, you will notice it. And we are not talking about intuition.

10. It’s good when a person knows that you miss him. This means that you have at least there is a relationship.

Are you thinking about what new things to fill your public with? Remember that these statuses for a group on VKontakte are especially for you.

Hearing my wish, the fish died...

It was only when my wife started driving next to me in the car that I understood the real meaning of the words “interference on the right.”

New alarm "Grigory Leps": When you try to steal a car, it screams - But it's not yours!

People are divided into two halves. Some, upon entering the room, exclaim: “Oh, who do I see!”; others: “Here I am!”

Love asked friendship: “Why do you exist if I exist?” Friendship replied: "To leave smiles where you leave tears..."

VKontakte is like ancient Egypt - people write on walls and worship cats!!!

At first I wanted to go to conquer Moscow. And then I found out that there is a World.

People may forget what you said. They may forget what you did. But they'll never forget how you made them feel

Use your smile to impact the world. Don't let the world affect your smile!!!

Don't judge a person until you are in his place!

I want to point it at you magic wand and shout: “Pizdikulus in ebalus!!!”

The guy sends a text message: “ This subscriber asks the subscriber to marry him.” A response SMS arrives: “Dear subscriber! There's not enough in your account Money to fulfill this request"

The heart whispered: LOVE!!! The brain screamed: OH you and duuuuraaaa!!!

You can't change your life overnight, but you can change your thoughts overnight, which will change your life!

Men are like mice... When you look at it separately, it’s a cute, touching animal, but when it gets into the house, you immediately want to poison it

If an adult rabbit is not fed for a week, then, as scientists say, it will be able to swallow a boa constrictor, and if it is also separated from the female rabbit for a week, then the boa constrictor will seriously regret that the rabbit did not immediately swallow it!

Zhenya, why did you hit Uncle Vlad in the head with a brick? - I won’t do it anymore - and he doesn’t need anymore

Anyone who cannot have 2/3 of a day for himself should be called a slave.

I turned on the water in the bathroom, sat down at the computer, 2 hours later I saw a slipper floating past the door and realized that I was a dumbass

I'm really sorry there's no official International Day Idiot... Sometimes it would be necessary to congratulate some people...

I decided to tell him about my feelings. I came to him and.. - And? - What? His friend is so cute that I think I fell in love

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want...

How about a kiss? - Where?! - Under the ponytail... - In the ass, or what?!! - IN THE NECK, BRAKE!!! THERE'S A PAIL ON YOUR HEAD!

Yesterday I had a serious fight for the first time over a guy... With my husband...

If they don't love you, don't beg for love. If they don’t believe you, don’t make excuses. If you are not valued, don’t prove it

Most best friend- it's a cat. He will never blame you for eating at night. He will eat
together with you.

We remained friends. Friends who will never call or write to each other.

If they say about a couple in love “cooing like doves,” then about a couple who argue all the time should they say “angry birds”?

Mom, why is it so dirty on the stove? - Dad fried eggs. - What, without a frying pan?

If you can’t defeat your opponent with a feather, take a closer look at the ax

Women's logic: “I know I’m to blame... but I’m offended!”

You do good, and in return, OPA and THEM@YA!

The pig, who saw a barbecue in the yard, began to catch mice and bark at strangers...!

All people have the right to make mistakes... But women have no limits!

A true friend will never ask “why?” She just goes to the store, buys it, brings it, opens it and pours it.

If you say simple censorship: “Oh! Hurt!" - that means you’re not really in any fucking pain...

A very interesting site “Odnoklassniki” - they don’t say hello on the street, but ask to be friends!!!

Every married man wants, well, at least once in his life to hear from his wife the phrase “Darling, hit me on the head now, otherwise I’ll cackle something…”

Two people cannot fall in love with each other at the same time and cannot stop loving each other on the same day.

Dad yelled at mom. Mom yelled at her son. The son yelled at the cat. The cat shits in everyone's slippers

Appreciate those who can see three things in you: the sadness behind the smile, the love behind the anger, and the reason for your silence.

A man died. His dog lay down next to him and also died. And now the soul of a man stands in front of the gate with the inscription “Paradise” and next to it is the soul of a dog. There is a sign on the gate: “No dogs allowed!” The man did not enter these gates, he passed by. They walk along the road, the second gate, on which nothing is written, only the old man sits next to him. - Excuse me, dear... but what is behind these gates? - Paradise. - Is it possible with a dog? - Certainly! - And there, before, what kind of gate was that? - In hell. ONLY THOSE WHO DO NOT LEAVE FRIENDS REACH HEAVEN

And how do you like her? - No way... harmful... proud... little girl... - So what, you won’t meet her again? - No, friend, I’ll marry her....

Everything in children's lives is very simple. They laugh even from the smallest little things.

When I was 13 years old, I thought friendship was everything. At the age of 16, I thought it was love. And now I know for sure, money decides in the world! :)

I will never understand my mind, we have too different views on life, it’s all over between us!

Be careful what you wish for. They come true. But not the way we want.

Surprised, Sarkozy asks Medvedev: “Dmitry, are you sure that the phrase fucking bastard from the draft peace agreement really translates as president of sovereign Georgia?” And by the way, what is it that doesn’t give a fuck?

I am an amazing person. I decided that if I take the exam tomorrow, I will buy myself a communicator, and instead of sitting and preparing, I sit and choose a communicator!

So you’re sitting on VKontakte and someone writes hello to you, how are you?

If your child is not seen or heard, you are lucky, you have an ideal child. He also sometimes wants his parents to be perfect. and they were neither seen nor heard.

The most important quality of an official is his integrity, and it is measured in dollars.

You start reading the inscription, which you finish reading;)

It's crazy how it infuriates me when someone watches me on VKontakte.

The Internet is a wonderful thing! I sat for 5 minutes - an hour and a half passed!

You grow up, get older, and your brother's friends still call you little.

Autumn, autumn, give me an Audi R8.

I found a method for sleeping for 4 hours and was delighted. I decided to learn. If I master this technique, I will sleep an entire hour longer!

Natural disaster on social network pages!!! Everyone is massively rejoicing at the first snow of December!!!

I dream of pineapples, snakes, children, trains, a lot of life and death chases, I dream of a creature, music, etc. And I. Really kind of grown up. Another.

There used to be a problem - I have nothing to wear! Now I don’t have anything to put on my avatar =)

Has your ex removed you from your VKontakte friends? Ah, a real man!

And fuck off with my love. ©

[this girl is laughing, walking and having fun. But. Deep down she hurts. *]

I listen to you all and do it my way

[-happiness is not in money, not at all. The rich are also unhappy. - yes, but it’s better to cry in a limousine than on a tram]

I have a feeling that the session will never end.

Hey! What are you forgetting here? - I do not remember!

Are you going to the city tomorrow? - Yes. - then you are my chair! I love my sister!

I can `t get it. Either I love him, or he pisses me off, or I’m jealous, or I don’t care, or I want him to be around, or I want him to get away from me, or I want to take revenge on him, then Am I talking nonsense and he hears it?

Messages (100) from him, all from him) I love him, life is wonderful,______then I wake up messages (1) - spam) gi-gi miracles don’t happen)

Someone is missing, someone is sorry, someone’s heart is racing into the distance.

The most boring and frequently asked question VKontakte: who are you? What should you answer? Can't you see the person? Damn, tell me, what else can I say?

I know you won’t come and you don’t expect a call from me, But I can’t hold back the eyes that are looking for you!

My mood is like the weather - it is not completely stable.

Darling, tell me am I a fool? - No, dear, of course not a fool. Maybe a little crazy, but definitely not a fool!

Don't keep anyone. Let them go. It's their choice.

Men are very interesting. At first, the girl will be driven to hysterics. And then they say that she is hysterical.

4/06/10 -algebra. Ugh good luck everyone)

It seems that we will tell our children incredible things about free music and films on the Internet. And they will look at us and think that we are all lying, and this cannot happen.

Here before people were well-read, but now they are googled

Finally, you already have an online status. otherwise I was already starting to worry that you were having fun somewhere.

Nowadays, the most cruel revenge on a person is deletion from friends on VKontakte.

I want halva alone, I want to eat it, I want gingerbread

When loading, I saw the inscription Microsoft, but May Microsoft are right now on the shelf next to the sandals.)

It’s so cool - you write in your status - I love you. And so much in response - I know. Zay. - I love you too. But the status was not dedicated to anyone in particular.

This summer will be ours.

Vodka-flavored Chupa Chups! And inside is a piece of herring

It doesn't surprise me when people go crazy, it surprises me when they don't. When we can lose everything in one day, in an instant... and I would like to know what helps us survive?

I saw your page in contact, you have 36 friends, 33 of them are girls and 33 of them are scary.

I hate you for stealing my heart! Bring him back!

your wounds will help you, girl.

Cynicism is when you take your child to the orphanage wearing a Best Dad in the world T-shirt.