How to give advice correctly. Five useful tips on how to give advice

It depends on who the recommendations come from. Psychologists work with their own methods, they do not give recommendations, but, perhaps, push to consider the situation from the other side, to find the pros among the cons, to use hidden reserves of your body.
A teenager would hardly ask a peer for advice on these problems. Because the answer, as a rule, is known: “Forget it!”
The parents...
If my child came to me with a clumsiness problem, I would say:
a) I’m clumsy myself, aspen trees won’t produce oranges, I hate physical training, this is not for me, my dad is not athletic either, my grandfather is athletic - so you should have taken him as an example, he put you on skis from the age of four, you don’t do sports you want, but without experience, without training, nothing will work out right away. Or take care of your sports physical fitness, find a section, if necessary, I’ll pay. Or sit quietly in the corner, over time, teenage clumsiness will not be noticeable, adults are not required to have the same physical activity as teenagers, physical inactivity is a scourge modern life. The choice is yours.
b) you need to gradually take responsibility for your life. No one has yet given up responsibility voluntarily, no one has yet taken it with permission. They either take responsibility, presenting others with the fact of their independence, or they do not take it, shifting decisions and responsibility for consequences onto their neighbors. At the age of 15, as a child, the manner of asking permission began to bother me. While the child was small, I was thrilled that I was so cool in the child’s eyes, the arbiter of destinies. Parents often see their children as toddlers until they become old. For my grandmother, at 99 years old, my dad remained a child at 70 years old. Although dad, at the age of 14-16, realized that only he was responsible for his life, and this helped him build his destiny correctly.
And when I was a 15-year-old child, I began to say every time: decide for yourself.
However, in some cases I insist on having it my way. I'm quite authoritarian. It is my problem. And it’s up to the child to sort it out.
c) either find friends on your own, or understand for yourself what the mistakes are when interacting with friends.

1. don’t focus on it.. accept it in yourself and correct it!
2. not be afraid to express to them the opinion that he wants, wants... this or that... but everything said or actions must be reasoned. with meaning. !
3.happens to everyone. communicate and settle things... somewhere to apologize... somewhere to remain silent!

BE YOURSELF AND DON'T BE SHY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF!

For the first situation.
Let him do some physical exercise. Any. Any games (not computer games, of course). Any movement. And alone, if he’s shy, and with friends... Jumping, dancing, bending... whatever. Let them be ugly, clumsy. Let him fulfill them as best he can. let him move..., run, do push-ups... Throw and catch the ball... Yes, how much you can come up with! . Weeks and months will pass. Coordination will definitely improve. Clumsiness will definitely be defeated.
And only so. Regarding the first question, this is the only way.

Today we have to find out best tips for teenage girls of all ages. This period in itself is very important for a woman, from the point of view of psychology and physical development. During adolescence, the body transforms and prepares to enter adulthood. Many parents experience this time with difficulty - it can be difficult to get along with an almost formed personality. And the girls themselves have to deal with phenomena and changes that are new to them. How to behave during this period? What advice can you give for teenage girls (11 years and older)? What will help their proper development?

Attention: hormones!

In itself it is characterized by the so-called play of hormones. This applies to both boys and girls. Only guys show similar changes mainly in behavior: they become more independent. But girls have a harder time. Their hormones have a huge impact on their overall health. The first thing you should pay attention to is that the Period begins at approximately 11-12 years. For some it comes earlier.

Unlike young ladies, guys go through this stage a little later, so you could say it’s a little easier for them to endure. There are different pieces of advice that can be given to teenage girls. But if we talk about puberty and hormones, then you shouldn’t be afraid of them. And be embarrassed by the changes occurring in the body. Be prepared for the fact that, for example, your breasts will begin to grow, pimples and acne will appear. They are a natural reaction of the body. This is normal - nothing to be ashamed of. Be mentally prepared for the fact that your health is now almost fully formed for adult life.

Critical days

What else should you pay attention to? For example, the fact that puberty in girls does not pass without leaving a trace. As has already been said, changes begin in the body, and they are visible: the breasts increase, the hips become rounded, the skin deteriorates a little. This is fine. It is also worth noting that in adolescence, girls begin to suffer. They often frighten inexperienced little girls. On average, already at 10-11 years old you can experience the so-called menstruation.

Tips for teenage girls mandatory contain points on moral preparation and further behavior. Don't be afraid of the first critical days - this is the first sign that you have become an adult. They will now come to you monthly at a certain interval: 28-30 days. Keep a calendar that will help you calculate the exact period of such an event. This is very important for both a teenager and an adult woman. If you come to an appointment with a gynecologist, you will be asked very actively about your period.

There is no need to be alarmed if your periods are too heavy or painful. This happens, but over time the body adapts and the process normalizes. If you can't stand it, it's better to see a doctor. He will help you choose a good and safe pain reliever.

Personal care

Advice for teenage girls can be given endlessly. Of course, a lot depends on you and your goals. Some already at this age attach great importance to appearance, while others do not see the point in killing time in front of the mirror. Of course, as a teenager you should take care of yourself. After all, you are already a young lady who is almost ready for adulthood. It is advisable to stock up special masks and creams for teenage skin, wash with scrubs and do peeling at least once a week.

This is especially true for those who experience certain problems with the skin due to hormones. Just don't overdo it. Especially with decorative cosmetics. Advice for teenage girls often indicates that you need to wear makeup and show with all your might that you are already an adult. But this is not entirely correct. Yes, no one has canceled decorative cosmetics, but everything should be in moderation. It is advisable to preserve your natural beauty, which is emphasized by light makeup: without a ton of various powders, eye shadows, foundations and other feminine joys.

Relationship

The next stage that cannot be missed is showing interest in the opposite sex. In adolescence, people begin to experience their first love, a timid kiss, and a reverent relationship. This is fine. There is no need to isolate yourself, especially girls. This is not entirely normal.

Vice versa, good advice for teenage girls, they necessarily indicate that they need to communicate more with the opposite sex. But only without the manic task of finding a boyfriend. Just make new friends among young men, communicate with them, have fun and spend more time together.

There is no need to be afraid of relationships. If you like someone, don't be afraid to make the first move. Maybe this really is your destiny! But be prepared to be rejected. Relationships are not an easy thing. There are both successes and failures here. However, there is no need to abandon the usual and completely immerse yourself in them. A psychologist's advice will help you behave correctly: professionals often recommend that teenage girls don't need to run after boys. Even if all the girls are delighted with someone. This is not entirely correct. It’s better not to be afraid to take the first step towards someone who is truly interesting and pleasant to you.

Your opinion

Adolescence is a very difficult period for any person. And not everyone is able to survive it without negative consequences. It is at this time that hormonal and physical changes occur in the body: the child becomes a real person with his own opinion. For parents, this behavior is often unacceptable, which is where huge problems arise.

Advice for teenage girls 14 years old (and older) often indicates that you'll have to do a lot of preparation. Now you will have to learn to defend your opinion in front of your parents. If you disagree with something, do not remain silent. Scandals, quarrels and insults - all this is almost inevitable. It is better to behave this way than to bend under parental authority. If you don’t learn to defend your point of view now, then everyone will take advantage of it later. But this must be done competently, without aggression.

Yes, it is better not to agree to an open conflict. First, try to peacefully explain and justify why and what you disagree with, and how you want to act. If you have understanding parents, they will accept you. No? Then only a riot. Rebellion, of course, is not the most the best option, but sometimes you can’t do without it. The main thing is not to go too far. Learn to say “no” if your interests are violated. It doesn’t matter to whom: parents or friends. Otherwise, in the future they will simply sit on your neck. Just do it without hysterics, anger, rudeness, pressure and blackmail.

Education

Don't forget about school. Under the influence of hormones, sometimes you don’t want to study or do things. Yes, it will be difficult, but nevertheless there is no need to skip classes. Pay due attention to your studies, but do not exalt them above your principles and interests. Look for harmony in everything.

By the way, if you are already 14 years old, you can get a part-time job at the same time. This is a great way to show everyone that you are no longer a child, but an already formed personality. Earn your own pocket money, involve yourself in work - without it you cannot survive in the adult world.

By the way, at the age of 16 you can request emancipation. If you can provide your own housing, as well as food and education, you can request early legal capacity through the court. This can hardly be called advice, since at a young age not everyone is ready to shoulder such a burden. But if you have the opportunity, why not? Just remember, parental consent is required. It’s better not to quarrel with them, because without family support, even an adult can have a hard time.

Calm and problems

Useful tips for teenage girls don't end there. It is worth paying attention to the fact that it is at a young age that you will have to learn to remain calm. This recommendation applies to both boys and girls. You should not rebel and row too much: learn self-control. Either on your own or with the help of a psychologist.

If you have any experiences and emotions, do not keep them to yourself. But don't put them on public display either. It is advisable to seek help from parents, best friends or a specialist. Remember: the psychologist is not your enemy at all. He is often able to help a teenage girl become a real girl, and then a woman with a decent outlook on life. Turning to such doctors is not a shame, but rather an achievement for a modern person.

By the way, many techniques help to stay calm. First, you can take a hot bath or shower. Secondly, some people practice meditation. Third, negative emotions You can splash it out in the gym or on a pillow/bag. The main thing is not to keep to yourself what has accumulated inside. Come up with personal way stress relief!

Lifestyle

Advice for teenage girls necessarily contains some lifestyle recommendations. The thing is that children begin to change dramatically during this period. At the same time, their lifestyle is being transformed. Try not to give in to temptations that manifest themselves in the form of bad habits. Teenagers often start drinking and smoking to appear like adults. It is not right. Lead healthy image life, don’t ruin your health.

Also, do not imitate your peers in this matter. After all, you can often get involved with bad company that will teach you bad principles. Smoking, alcohol, drugs are your enemies. In all senses. Do not give in to the temptation to look “cool” or “grown up”. In the eyes of society, on the contrary, you will look like a small and stupid child.

Goals in life

Tips for teenage girls (12 years and older) are not rules that need to be followed unconditionally. These are just some instructions that will help your personality develop with minimal stress. pay attention to last fact- you need to decide now on your goals in life.

Analyze everything you want to achieve. For example, learn (for whom exactly), work (where and by whom), get married, have children... And depending on your own desires. For example, you should not try to become a professor if your task is only family, children and household. It is better to devote yourself more to cooking, handicrafts, and studying psychology. Do you want to build a career? Then do everything for this. Setting your priorities will help you in the future.

The main thing is not to be afraid. Here you will most likely encounter misunderstanding and non-acceptance of your point of view by your parents. As practice shows, the older generation tries to plan their entire lives for teenagers (no matter for what reasons). Following the parental script means ruining yourself as a person. Defend your point of view, set priorities and enjoy your youth!

I once received useful lesson– tried to reconcile a friend who had quarreled with her husband. Moreover, the desire was sincere and from the bottom of my heart, since I really wanted everything to be fine with the people dear to me.

I took my task with complete seriousness and responsibility, that is, I talked to everyone individually, tried to explain to both him and her what they (in my opinion, naturally) were wrong. And, of course, I gave both my friend and her husband a bunch of “ useful tips“how they can better build their relationships.

I wanted the best, but it turned out... I listened in horror as they began to sort things out right in front of me, using my own words and advice. And when I tried to stop this senseless quarrel, they unanimously attacked me, reproaching me that I was meddling in other people’s affairs, someone else’s family, that it was my fault with my stupid advice and that I had quarreled between them.

In the end, they made peace and even apologized to me, but at first a chill appeared in our relationship, and then it generally came down to a simple acquaintance, although before my participation in their affairs, we were good friends and spent a lot of time together.

Only my youth and inexperience can justify me in this action, but I remembered the lesson I learned very firmly and since then I have never tried to get into other people’s relationships with my advice. No, I sometimes give advice when I see that a person really needs it and came specifically for specific advice, because he doesn’t know what to do best or doesn’t have enough information. Yes and this advice I usually try to put it in such a form that a person understands that he needs to decide for himself.

It’s sad that my experience came at the cost of losing a friend, but I learned many useful things that later helped me more than once in relationships with family and friends. Which ones exactly? For example, I realized that friends, most often when they say they need advice, actually just want to talk it out in order to relieve nervous tension and, of course, receive sympathy.

Even the strongest people have a need for simple sympathy without evaluating their actions, judging or teaching. And, besides, deep down, in all sorts of difficult situations, we ourselves already have options for resolving them. Therefore, when turning to someone, we expect, rather, approval of our decision, rather than criticism and moralizing.

In general, it is extremely difficult to give good and correct advice, if only because the full picture of what happened is never revealed to you. Often in words everything does not look as it is, in fact, moreover, in emotional excitement a person loses sight of a lot, not to mention the fact that he often involuntarily betrays his soul, wanting to appear in any situation in the best light.

In general, an outside view, which, as it seems at first glance, can better highlight the problem, may turn out to be erroneous, because the person’s feeling inside the problem is completely different. That is, you can better understand the situation, but not understand the person’s feelings at all, as if you were in his place.

And, of course, you always need to understand that each person has his own personal secrets that he will not trust to anyone, not even his best friend. And it’s true that what a person thinks about the situation today, the next day, when the emotional intensity subsides, may look completely different in his eyes. So, when her friend speaks out, maybe she will even regret her weakness.

So draw the conclusions that I once drew from a life lesson. Don’t rush with advice - let your friend express what’s painful to her. Do not criticize, do not analyze her behavior, which led to the situation under discussion. And, even more so, do not scold or criticize your friend’s husband if it is a family problem.

Do not try to demonstrate your own rationality, prudence and practicality in a long lecture-monologue. This way you won’t help your friend in any way, you won’t even relieve the tension. And, if you still dare to give advice in such a tone, it will cause irritation.

As for the advice itself, here's the question: are you not afraid to take risks? That is, don’t you think that by following your advice, your friend might worsen the situation? It's scary to take on such responsibility! Therefore, think more than once before advising anything.

But, of course, you need to listen to your friend, express both sympathy and understanding - she expects this from you! Don't torture her by asking questions, don't insist on answers, because not everything can be said out loud. If you are asked, carefully express your assessment of the situation, remembering to repeat that your view may be wrong.

Try to avoid specific advice, do not take responsibility for the fate and, possibly, the future of another person. You can express your opinion, but at the same time emphasizing that this is your option of behavior, but she is a completely different person, with a different character, priorities and vision of the situation.

You must explain to your friend that she herself is strong and clever man, so she herself will be able to choose the right decision, especially if she tries not to succumb to emotions. A friend should feel your support and empathy, and not receive a clear action plan with strict control over execution.

But it may also happen that requests for advice from your friend come in an endless stream for all reasons, significant and not so significant. You are regularly bombarded with a lot of problems, complaints, requests to sort things out, to advise something. This is a peculiar form of energy vampirism, from which you need to protect yourself and your nervous system. Therefore, if you notice that your time, patience, and kindness are being abused, stop feeling sorry for the vampire and giving him advice.

In general, good advice is good, but it’s not for nothing that they say in Rus' that good advice to reason is good. We shouldn’t forget about the mind!

In business, if not at the very beginning, then a little later, when he grows up, you will have to be a leader, one way or another. That's why today's post is called , and in it I will share some of my recommendations, thoughts and experiences.

I’ll say right away that some of them have been personally tested, and some are “taken from open sources,” as they say :-). That is, they are in all the business literature I have read, according to at least, but I have not yet had time to verify their effectiveness. Not because I have doubts, I just haven’t been in some situations. I will warn you about this throughout the article.

Advice for a new manager

I’ll just list them all, I think it will be clearer.

1. The leader (especially) is obliged to take responsibility. You won’t be able to lead anyone if you are not ready to start with yourself, and plan to assign responsibility to everyone.
2. Constant self-improvement and development is almost the most basic task. Otherwise, a moment will come when they will begin to doubt you, and as a result you will lose your authority.
3. If you are a business owner or manager, then you simply owe CLEAR tasks to your subordinates and ensure their implementation in the most effective way.
4. Decisiveness, fairness and consistency are essential qualities. If they are not there, they need to be developed. Otherwise, it will be difficult to lead competently and be a leader of a group or, especially, an organization.
5. Equally important are demands, confidence and the ability to say “no”. The main thing is balance.
6. Work more with opportunities rather than problems. The problem will not go away (or even better if it goes away :)), but the opportunity may be missed. Of course, there are very acute problems that require immediate solutions. But we won’t even talk about them :-).
7. Pay more attention to employees who bring best result. This is both fair and logical. I note this point as not tested by me in practice. I don’t know how, but I didn’t manage to do it... Maybe I was lucky, or vice versa I was unlucky, but it was like that... But the really logical thing, it seems to me, is honesty.
8. Keeping promises is the main source of trust and authority of a leader. I also haven’t checked what happens when you don’t keep your promises (I always did, honestly :-)), but nothing good will happen, don’t you think?
9. Give tasks to subordinates taking into account short deadlines - it is better to fail in a short time than in a stretched one. But the risk is the same. Almost…
10. Any misconduct by an employee must be punished. Any. The measure must correspond to the offense, of course, but there should be no concept of impunity at all.
11. The leader always knows that there are alternatives and that something can always be done better. Not verified. To be honest, “they don’t seek good from goodness” is also true. Moreover, :-). Although “striving for the best” is an even better saying. I like it better :-).
12. A leader always knows that time is an invaluable resource. Employees should know too. This is the absolute truth, I am convinced of it, although I myself have some problems with it. It may be unverified, but, I repeat, I am sure that it is true.
13. Getting started is already half the battle. And this is not just another triviality. It's real, try it! 🙂 Get your subordinates to start something. Then it will be easier to finish it.
14. Don't be afraid to work hard and don't be afraid to make mistakes. Weakness and indecision are a business sin.
15. Always look for new levers: skills, time, opportunities, connections...

If you analyze people's everyday conversations, you will notice how everyone loves to give advice left and right. However, is this always beneficial? In what situations is it worth giving advice, and in what situations is it better not to take the initiative, so as not to end up guilty?

First of all, you need to clearly understand why people themselves go to advisers. For example, there is a situation: a girl comes to her friend and tells her that her boyfriend proposed. And so she, wondering what she should do, came for advice. Let's say a friend dissuades a girl from taking this step. After a while, the adviser will most likely hear accusations about her failed personal life: “I should have gotten married and not listened to you.” Or, on the contrary, she advises her to get married. In this case, accusation cannot be avoided, only it will have the opposite meaning: “you are to blame, because of you I am now unhappy.”

Advice

Thus, advice is shifting responsibility for your steps to another person.

Why you can't give advice

There is no need to pursue a person in order to give him advice. Even if you think you know better what is right. Everyone has their own path, their own experience, their own mistakes.

Advice

Explain that opinions are subjective

If you decide to advise someone something, then explain to the person that this is your subjective view. But the final choice still remains with him.

Naturally, everyone likes it when people come to them for advice. But don't pretend to be a Know-It-All. Speak only about what you know for sure.

Advice

There is no need to give advice for which you do not want to be responsible.

Of course, if a person himself came to you for advice, then this is an acknowledgment of your strength and authority. Who wouldn't be flattered by this? No matter how much you would like to prove yourself as a sensei, understand the consequences of your advice for the person. It happens that an outside perspective really helps you make informed decisions.